how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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