Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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