you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
