That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
