Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
