Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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