I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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