The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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