I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
