he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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