Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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