After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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