Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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