why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
