Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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