I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
