I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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