I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
