just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
thus making me awesome and them whores
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
