This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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