4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
