i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
