can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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