Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
