i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize