Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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