I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
