Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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