Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
