Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
