have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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