i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
