got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
