i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
