Jerry, you need to find god
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
