I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
