All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
