I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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