What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize