my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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