Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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