Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
birth control should be required to get into college
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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