Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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