All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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