You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
