Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
