Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
