So drunk its hurt
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
