WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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