Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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