The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
