i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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