soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
well you can't waste a boner
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
