porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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