White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
