dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
