I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
