just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
