Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
