I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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