just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize